There is a thing which slowly happens over time which I was kind of aware of but haven’t really done enough about it. As a working Photographer all to often I am focused on what my clients want, what packages, ideas and concepts I can offer up and although I can get creative with these projects I rarely take the time to just play anymore with my own stuff. When I say play I mean to play with my camera to have fun and not to focus on the end result but more concentrate on the process, to experiment without limits and rules of expectation and responsibility of a paid job. It’s like any job when you do it for work over time you tend to do less of it in your own time, which I don’t want to happen as there were times when I would go everywhere with my camera to document, play, and experiment with and I love some of those old images I took of friends, family, random stuff like puddles and piers. I think some of it is because I take pictures as a job, some of it is about having my phone and sometimes using that instead and some of it is just about not really bothering. If I was really honest I think there is also an element of opening Pandoras box, there is a fear that if I start doing crazy wild stuff people might not respect me or take me seriously anymore I will just be seen as that mad old cat lady that takes pics of crazy shit. The thing is this nagging feeling is not going away there is something in me that wants to go there and as the years pass the feeling gets stronger.
So there are times when I take pictures of stuff in my own time but am reluctant to share for fear of ridicule I suppose, I am not sure why I should really care what people think as they don’t have to look at my images its a free country after all. In light of these thoughts I am sharing this image which I recently took in the studio, I have decided to ‘go there’.
I have my own ideas behind the concept of this image mostly around oppression, violence towards women, online bullying and the pressure from our media for women to look a certain way yaaay I hear you cheer all fun stuff! It is stuff that I feel strongly about, there is a huge pressure on young women and also young men to look and live up to a certain unachievable vision. We now have kids in their 20’s having botox and fillers, kids full of anxiety and afraid to be themselves for fear of rejection its utter madness destructive and out of control, I see it in the kids close to me but also in young people I take pictures of. I’ll stop ranting…it’s up to you as the viewer to make your own mind up about what if anything this image conjures up.